Let the Rain Kiss You
by sallene
Summary: I was unable to blink, unable to speak, barely able to breathe. I could only stare in horror as the object I was so desperately seeking earlier came into focus. One ruddy brown curl was all I saw before everything went black.
1. Prologue: Dumbledore

**Prologue: Dumbledore**

Sometimes I look back at my long existence and wonder how it is that I survived. I am an old man now, and I must admit, I'm starting to feel my age. It is hard to keep face in light of all the dangers our world faces, but I must. Others look to me for guidance. Perhaps I can pass enough of my knowledge on to be of some help in future times.

I find myself walking to the window. Many a time I have stood in this very spot, looking over the school grounds. Even though I have a manor, I rarely ever go there. Hogwarts is my home. Many of my children have passed through here. Yes, they were all my children, even the ones that turned against everything they were taught to believe in.

Saddened by the thought, I think back to the last war. Even though evil is always present, I had selfishly hoped not to see more fighting in my lifetime. But, things are always changing, and we must move or be crushed.

There have been many that have fought for our cause. Some still living; others that weren't so lucky. Every day, new witches and wizards join our fight. Out of all of them, I am still most impressed with Severus. I have never met anyone more dedicated to the cause.

Oh, I know what people have said behind my back. I knew that many questioned his loyalty. I did not. But again, I knew what many people didn't. He had never been a true Death Eater. For reasons that were quite complicated, no one else knew that. I alone was privy to that bit of knowledge. Still, there was a darkness in him that put me on guard. Sometimes I fear that one day he will close himself up to anything but evil.

I sighed, and walked toward my desk. My pensieve caught my eye, and I stopped, staring into its depths. I absent-mindedly twirled it with my finger, watching the images swirl in and out of focus. If only it were possible to remove past events like removing ones memories. A much younger Severus swirled into my sight, and I remembered….

_The Snape family was an old one. Purest of the purebloods, people used to say. They were more proud than any Malfoy ever was. The Dark Arts were always their particular obsession. They would stop at nothing to gain more power. Each generation seemed to be hungrier for it than the last._

_Septimius Snape was not a good man. I knew him when he was a boy. To be sure, he didn't attend Hogwarts. Durmstrang was where the Snape family had attended school for years. I had no doubt that he would send his son, Severus, there when the time came._

_I was surprised to receive an owl from Severus' mother, a year before his eleventh birthday. She had pleaded with me to prepare a place for Severus, because she couldn't bear to see her child corrupted like his father. Serenada had attended Hogwarts as a girl. Fate dealt her an unlucky blow when she was promised to Septimius. But, it was not to be contested, and she met her fate with courage. She rarely stood up to her husband, preferring to try to keep peace in her own way. I knew that it didn't always work, and she and her son had been subjected to much abuse. I was surprised that she dared to oppose her husband in this matter, but love for her son won out. I agreed, and by some twist of fate, Septimius allowed Severus to attend Hogwarts. I knew that there must be a reason, but I couldn't bear to turn the boy away._

_I'd never seen such a dark, disagreeable child. He was sour-faced and shy, not associating with many around him. Yet, I could tell that he longed to be accepted. If I wasn't mistaken, his mother was the only person in his life who had ever loved him. I really wasn't surprised that he was sorted into Slytherin. I just hoped that he would someday find his way out of the darkness. There were many evils for him to face._

_As he aged, his intelligence was astounding. Still, he had a fascination for the Dark Arts that had me up many a night. I admit I took more of an interest in the child than some of the other students. There was so much untapped potential within him. Eventually, a friendship sprung up between us. Beneath the shell of a sharp tongue and cruel glares was a witty, caring boy._

_I remember the day that I received the news. The letter still in my hands, I knew it would be one of the hardest things that I had to do. Calling Severus to my office, I told him about the death of his mother due to a raid on their manor. He did not react. No tears were shed, no harsh words spoken. He simply turned and walked out, leaving the next day to attend the services. I was afraid._

_When he returned, there was no longer anything left of the shy boy that I knew. He seemed to have aged a great deal. That night is when everything changed. He spoke of his father, and of a group called the Death Eaters. He said that a powerful wizard, who was rumored to be a former student in these halls, was their leader. I knew of all this, knew things that he did not, but I was silent for the moment. Septimius had commanded that his son join the group. _

_Severus had other ideas. I will never forget what he said. "I will not join with them! He killed her! They killed her! She loved me…." At that, he choked, and I bore witness to the only time he had truly let himself go. I understood his pain, and we came up with a plan. _

_A short while before, I had started a group to fight against the very person Severus had spoke of. Tom Riddle, or as his followers knew him; Lord Voldemort. The Order of the Phoenix was born. The Order needed a spy and Severus was in the position to become one without suspicion. He was young, but I had no doubt in his abilities. It was safer for all involved if his true status was kept secret._

I left the pensieve and sat wearily at my desk. Looking back, I know I am responsible. I should never have let him enter that life. He deserved more than a lifetime of pain and suffering. He was forced to do things that he never would have considered otherwise. People on our side felt that he was a traitor and not to be trusted. He constantly faced being exposed in the circle of the Death Eaters. He certainly had more fortitude than I. I would have crumbled under the duty.

I think the only happiness he has in his life is his teaching position. Even though most students fear him and he shows much partiality to his own house, he enjoys it. And he is a good teacher. He is the most talented potions master I've ever seen. Yet, every year he petitions for the Dark Arts position. Every year, I turn him down, afraid that somehow, it will turn him. I know he is made of stronger stuff, but I'm not willing to take the chance. Yes, he should have had much more. There is such brilliance behind everything he does.

Now, I'm sending him off again. Somehow, I know that this will be one of his greatest challenges. I hoped I wasn't making a mistake. In a way, it will be good for him. I know Hermione has grown into quite a woman. She may be just what he needs. Somewhere, there is still a heart, even though he thinks it's gone. I just hope that one day, he will find it again. And maybe, just maybe I'll be around to witness it.

**

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****A/N:**

**A huge thanks to Judy and Jennifer for betaing this fic for me. I don't know what I'd do without your help!**

**I don't think we were ever given an exact time period for the formation of the first Order, so I took the liberty of playing with it a bit.**

**This will be a SS/HG fic, even though you will see glimpses of the other HP characters.**

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own Harry Potter. That belongs to JKR and her wonderful imagination. I however, as always, would not mind having Alan Rickman, if only for a few hours! ;-)**


	2. Chapter 1: Hermione

**Chapter 1: Hermione**

The rain came again. The black clouds, the sharp crack of thunder, the lightening that takes over the whole sky. It makes me feel wild and primitive. Like if I try hard enough, I can be part of it. I stand looking out the window pensively before I quickly throw on a jumper and run out into the night.

My skin breaks out with goose bumps as I run through the rain, breathless. I've never felt more alive. It's exactly what I yearn for, after feeling trapped in my own life for so long. It doesn't take long for the rain to soak my skin, but I don't care. I'm free. For now at least.

I'd been confined too long without company. The Order had sent me here to do research on counteracting dark spells. Or so they said. I had my suspicions. I sometimes think they just wanted me out of the way. But, I so loved to study and the old manor that had belonged to Kingsley Shacklebolt's family had an enormous library. So, I agreed without much of a fight. I figured that it couldn't be any more mundane than 12 Grimmauld Place. There were rarely any exciting happenings there, with everyone doing their jobs. Everyone except me, that is. Even Harry and Ron had assignments. I shook off the thought of the others. There was no point in dwelling on things that I couldn't change.

The wind picks up and the rain beats against me harshly. The storm was stronger than I had thought. I duck into a nearby shelter, not noticing that there was someone there already. My breath came in gasps and I let out a wild laugh. Only then did I realize I wasn't alone. I held my wand ready, steadying my shaking hand.

"Cool, logical, sensible Miss Granger, running as if a wild thing was after her. It's quite shocking, really." From the shadows, he stepped into the dim light, cloak rustling with the movement.

I recognized the silky voice at once, having heard it for 7 years, mainly degrading me for being an insufferable know-it-all. My hand dropped uselessly to my side. A shiver ran up my spine and I suddenly realized I was chilled to the bone. I couldn't form words as I stared at him, wondering why he, of all people, was here.

His dark eyes glittered as he spoke again. "You'll catch your death. But, then again, maybe that is what you were hoping for?"

He circled me like a predator, getting closer with each step. What was this about? Why didn't he just berate me with biting words and leave? I scarcely dared to breathe. I was in such shock that I didn't ask what he was doing there.

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue? I've never known you to be speechless." He stopped in front of me, looking at me with something I did not recognize in his eyes.

At that moment I managed to gasp out a reply. "No, of course I'm not trying to catch my death." I stopped, looking at him with confusion. "In fact, I've never felt more alive." I gathered my dignity and stood straighter.

A low rumble of laughter came from him. It sounded quite rusty from disuse. "You are quite full of surprises, Miss Granger." He moved to the doorway, leaning slightly against it. "Why are you out here?"

How dare he ask me that? It's not as if he owns the night! Indignation rose in me. "If it comes to that, why are _you_ out here? Aren't you supposed to be doing some work for the Order?"

He didn't turn around as he spoke again, his voice lower than ever. I had to move closer just to hear him. "Oh, but I am. You don't think they would just leave you out here without a guardian, do you? What with all of the attacks on Muggleborns? But, then again, maybe you're not as bright a witch as everyone seems to think." The customary contempt was back in his voice.

Attacks? I must be more out of touch out here than I had thought. I knew nothing of new attacks. Were mum and dad ok? What was happening? I managed to speak. "Attacks?"

Snape turned and looked at me with something akin to surprise and pity on his face. "You did not know? Well, I guess it is a good thing that they've sent someone here."

I lost my temper. "You mean to tell me that you've been _assigned_ to watch me? I thought I was sent here to do research! To actually be of use to the Order! I knew it! I KNEW IT!" I was hysterical by this time, not caring what I said. "It was just a ruse to get me out of the way! And you! YOU! Of all people, they send _you_ to watch me?" I laughed scornfully. "Didn't they realize I'd be better off alone than with a great bat like yourself?" I knew I was dangerously close to pushing him over the edge, but I didn't care.

There was ice in his voice when he spoke again. I could feel it, like a cold rush of air. "I suggest that you calm down, Miss Granger, before you say something you'll regret." His obsidian eyes narrowed and his voice was a hiss. "They were trying to keep you safe, you silly girl."

"It doesn't matter what they were trying to do. I am capable of taking care of myself! I graduated at the head of my year! I could cast circles of spells around Harry and Ron, and most of the Order members. Instead, they ship me off to this…this deserted hole! Do you know how long it's been since I've talked to someone besides a house elf? Do you? Then the first person I see is you! You with your 'better than thou' attitude, and your sarcasm? How am I supposed to feel? I can't contact my family. I haven't even heard from Harry or Ron in a month!"

He didn't speak, just coolly surveyed me. I don't know what I had expected, but it wasn't this. Maybe some snide comments and foul looks, but not the sympathetic calm that he was showing. "Are you quite done?"

I suddenly stopped, drained after my outburst. I sank down to the earth floor, pulling my knees up under my chin. I didn't speak, but surveyed the man still blocking the doorway. Why would he even accept the job of watching over me? He despises me. Doesn't he?

We remained that way for sometime. He, standing in the doorway in silence, with his back to me. Me, trying not to resort to tears, but gathering my poise before I said any more. Finally, unable to stand the stillness any longer, I gave in. "Why are you here?" What I really meant was why had he agreed to come, but I couldn't ask him that.

"You seem to be repeating yourself, Miss Granger. You know why I am here. I'm here to watch over you." He snorted derisively, as if I was a dunderhead that he had to spell things out to.

Feeling strangely defeated, I stood, warily looking at him. Something about the way he spoke, as if trying to be as unpleasant as possible got my attention. I knew somehow that he was putting on a front. Surprisingly, I felt comforted knowing that someone was indeed watching over me, even if it was him. "You know that is not what I meant, Professor." I was suddenly quite drained. I moved toward the door, but he did not budge.

"I will escort you back to the manor. It's not a night fit for man or beast out there." Still, he did not move. Those eyes were burning into me, but I could not tell what he was thinking.

Curious, I stepped closer, noticing an almost imperceptible flinch on his face. But, he did not back down. No, he wouldn't. I stood, looking up into his unreadable expression. "And which are you, sir?" There were only a few inches of space between us, and I could feel his breath on my cheek when he answered.

With a pained expression on his face, he answered. "In truth, I do not know." He turned, beckoning for me to follow him.

I quietly complied, too tired to argue. I tried to cheer myself by looking on the bright side. At least I'm not alone anymore. And maybe, if he would deign to be in my presence, he could help with my research.

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**A/N:**

**A huge thanks to Judy and Jennifer for betaing this fic for me. I don't know what I'd do without your help!**

**This will be a SS/HG fic, even though you will see glimpses of the other HP characters.**

**I have about 7 chapters completed now, so I will post one every week or so. Bear with me on updates after that. We have a little one on the way, and I work full time, so I have some pre-occupations to deal with. ;-)**

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own Harry Potter. That belongs to JKR and her wonderful imagination. I however, as always, would not mind having Alan Rickman, if only for a few hours! **


	3. Chapter 2: Severus

**Chapter 2: Snape**

_I knew that something was afoot when the headmaster specifically requested my presence in his office the last day of term. I cursed him under my breath as I made my way to his office, muttering "Ice Mice" to gain admittance._

_At first, neither of us spoke. He sat behind his desk, his fingers steepled, peering at me over those ridiculous half-moon glasses of his. I stood rigid, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing me more relaxed. Finally, he broke the silence._

"_Severus, I have a commission for you for the summer." He was still staring at me with those damnable eyes. _

_As I listened to what he was saying, it dawned on me that he was not talking about more spy work. When Albus told me what I must do, I was livid. I was working covertly for the Order, his only connection to Voldemort! Why would he insist that I watch over that little know-it-all? Surely there were more important things for me to do. I had no desire to spend the summer babysitting. "I won't do it." I stood firm._

_Albus' eyes twinkled. He had expected as much from me. He knew from experience that I was very obstinate. Yet, he was one of the only people that dared to stand up to me. For that, I respected him. In fact, if I were to admit it, he held a special place in what heart I had left. "Yes, my boy, you will. So, rant all you wish, but rest assured, you will be there to protect Hermione."_

_I winced at the name. It didn't matter that she was a young woman now, 22 years old. She was still 'Miss Granger' to me. Brilliant, yes, but one of the golden trio. The thought always put a bad taste in my mouth. _

_Again, I opposed him. "I won't. There is no need. She's been there for some time, and has not been bothered. I'm sure the circumstances will remain so." In truth, I knew my protests would do no good. There had been some talk among the Death Eaters at the last summons about more attacks on the Muggleborns and their families. _

"_You and I both know that is not true, Severus. The news that you brought back from the last Death Eater meeting confirmed my worst fears. The attacks have begun. It is only a matter of time before they find her." His face grew taught with worry. "And, it is only a matter of time before they discover your deception as well."_

_I nodded, admitting what he said was true. The last few times I had faced the Dark Lord, my loyalty had been questioned. I still bore several fresh scars from his methods of extracting information from me. Luckily, I had been able to keep up the barriers in my mind. I sighed, knowing that it was pointless to argue with Albus. "I still don't understand why it has to be me. Why not one of her friends? I'm sure Mr. Potter or Mr. Weasley would be glad to comply. Merlin knows they are cocky enough for it." I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my voice. _

"_They are still mere boys, Severus. They are not capable of remaining calm, especially if a situation were to arise where their friend was threatened. You and I both know that Hermione poses a special threat. She has many abilities that Voldemort would enjoy exploiting."_

_I knew he was right. And, as much as it annoyed me to admit it, the things that the Dark Lord was capable of doing to Miss Granger revolted me. I had been through various tortures, but it was penance for me. Punishment for my many sins, so to speak. I had learned to bear it and go on. She was an innocent. It was different for her. Resigned, I agreed, silently cursing my luck._

That was last week. Now I find myself outside of the run down Shacklebolt Manor. Not feeling the need to betray my presence, I find a shelter on the grounds where I can keep an eye out for intruders. I have no real desire to communicate with Miss Granger, but I will have to at some point. The situation looked to be fine. No mysterious people prowling, no screaming coming from the house, no Dark Mark in the sky.

It started to storm. The rain was torrential, and the lightning illuminated the sky in a patchwork of brilliant white. I couldn't help but wish I could simply step out into the night and let the falling rain purify me. If only it were that easy. Sighing, I retreated to the shadows. It was a fitting place for someone who had spent most of his life in them.

I suppose I had become lost in my thoughts, for I was jerked harshly from them by the sound of running and heavy breathing. I stood, ready for action if necessary. I knew that I was still hidden by the darkness, so I remained still. What I saw shocked me. A distinctly female form ducked into the shelter. Miss Granger. She was soaked to the skin, her wet curls plastered to her head, rainwater dripping from her face. She gasped for air. Was someone after her? I remained tense, ready to protect her if necessary. When a laugh escaped her lips, I knew that the situation was fine. I relaxed somewhat, but I could not understand why she was out on a night like this.

"Cool, logical, sensible Miss Granger, running as if a wild thing was after her. It's quite shocking, really." I stepped from the dim corner, moving slowly, enjoying the shaken look on her face. I suppose I should be old enough to outgrow my love of intimidation, but I'm not. It satisfies some twisted part of me.

After some tense conversation, most of which was in the form of yelling from the girl, she sank to the floor in a crumpled heap. I stood in the door, silently watching her. I actually felt bad for reducing her to this state. She didn't know what was happening. For once, I didn't feel that I was alone on the outside. There was someone in the abyss with me. But, now was not the time for that. I was tired. I just wanted rest for the night, delaying this distasteful conversation.

She asked a few more questions, and I replied with clipped answers. She warily stood, looking as if she were afraid that I'd devour her. I started to rethink my position. Maybe being feared wasn't always the best thing. Maybe once it would be nice to have someone desire my presence.

"I will escort you back to the manor. It's not a night fit for man or beast out there." She made a move toward the door, but I did not move aside. I wanted to be the one in control of the situation. I would move when I saw fit. I fixed a dark stare on her.

She stepped closer, breaching the gap between us. I involuntarily recoiled. I was not used to having someone stand so close to me. "And which are you, sir?" There were only a few inches of space between us, and I could feel her breath when she spoke. Her eyes were questioning, and I found myself faltering under that steadfast gaze.

I gave an honest answer. "In truth, I do not know." I turned, motioning for her to follow me, cursing her for making me feel, even if it was only a bit of pity.

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**A/N:**

**A huge thanks to Judy and Jennifer for betaing this fic for me. I don't know what I'd do without your help!**

**I decided to go ahead and post this chapter because it goes with Chapter 1. Hope you enjoy!**

**Thanks to everyone for the reviews! You don't know just how much they are appreciated.**

**As for the chapter lengths, I always seem to write around 1300 words. For some reason, there's an invisible stop sign at that point. I'm sure some will be shorter and some longer, but that's about what to expect per chapter. **

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own Harry Potter. That belongs to JKR and her wonderful imagination. I however, as always, would not mind having Alan Rickman, if only for a few hours! **


	4. Chapter 3: Hermione

**Chapter 3: Hermione**

The walk back to the manor was not pleasant. The storm I had enjoyed was now just rain. It drummed against my skull, dripping in my face. I was cold and miserable. After my outburst, I was not inclined to speak again, for fear of dissolving into tears.

Not a word was spoken between my ex-professor and me during our walk back. I had to practically run to keep up with his long stride. Insufferable man! He could have slowed a bit. But, I knew him better than that. He always expected others around him to keep up. I finally caught up, but it was too late; we were at the manor.

The dim light barely seeped through the door glass, causing an eerie glow. I shivered, not looking forward to the chill of the old rooms. I hadn't felt the need to start a fire earlier, but now I wished that I had.

He stopped, standing to the side, so that I could pass him. My hand rested on the cold brass of the handle, and I paused to speak. "You are welcome to come in." Yes, about as welcome as a hungry manticore would be in a corral of hippogriffs. Not waiting for an answer, I turned and stepped across the threshold, pausing to mutter a soft "_Incendio_".

I jumped when he spoke. He had been so silent that I had not realized he had followed me inside. "Wandless magic? Again, you are full of surprises."

"I find that it makes wand magic much stronger if you cultivate your wandless abilities."

Why was his stare unnerving me so much? It's not like I'd never been under his scrutiny before. I hid my nervousness quickly, walking over to the fire. I was dripping wet and chilled to the bone.

Looking around me, I was a bit ashamed at the state of the place. I had been so involved in my studies and notes that I hadn't taken time to straighten up. The low table in the room was covered with scattered papers and books were piled up everywhere. I had forbidden the house elf from touching my work. The one time he had, half of my papers had ended up in the fire, causing me much consternation.

Snape swept the rooms with a cursory glance. A frown appeared that extended to his brow. "Miss Granger, I would have expected better from you." With a flick of his wand, he tidied the table. A smug smile appeared on his lips. "Much better."

I bit back a sharp retort. What right did he have to move my things? Instead, I spoke politely. "Thank you sir. I had not taken the time earlier to organize my things. I was in a hurry..." I trailed off, realizing how idiotic than sounded. Why would I be rushing off somewhere? It's not like I had plans to keep.

"Yes, quite a hurry, I'm sure. One usually does rush to run out in the rain like a lunatic." Snape walked over to the table, his long fingers stroking the spines of the books as he read the titles. "The Alchemist's Guide to Advanced Potions? Counteracting Dark Spells? The Modern Approach to Arithmancy? A bit of light reading, Miss Granger? It seems that you are as studious as ever."

"That's why I'm here, Professor. At least, I thought..." Stopping suddenly, I grew agitated because he was smirking at me. Unbearable git! Rubbing it in that I had not truly known why I was here.

"Yes, well, maybe you think too much. You always were quite the little know-it-all. Has it ever occurred to you that there is more to life than having your head buried in a book?" His voice had lost some of its venom, becoming questioning. He picked up my papers, and ruffled through them, pausing now and then to read a bit.

My face grew flushed as I grew edgy over his scrutiny of my notes. I suddenly felt as if it were my first day at Hogwarts. All I wanted to do was to impress. To show everyone that a Muggleborn witch was every bit as good as the rest of them. The need for acknowledgement was always something that drove me to excel.

"Very interesting. Did you write this yourself?" He held up sheets of paper that held the beginnings of my idea for a potion that would counteract the Cruciatus curse. It was my first draft, the idea having come to me earlier today. "Yes, Professor."

A resounding thump rang through the house as he threw the book down on the table, causing me to jump. "Stop calling me Professor! I have not been your professor for 4 years!" He paced in front of the table with a scowl on his face.

Surprised, I didn't know quite what to say. Feeling rather meek, I spoke. "What should I call you, sir? Mr. Snape?" I swallowed, not sure how to take his sudden changes in mood.

For the second time that night I heard that rusty chuckle. It was starting to frighten me, for it was not a nice laugh. "Mr. Snape was my father. I do not wish to be addressed as he was. I do have a first name, Miss Granger."

"As do I, Prof...Severus." How strange to be addressing the most feared teacher at Hogwarts on a first name basis. This was going to be difficult.

He walked to the fire, staring into it, as if it held some answer for him. With a glance at me, he muttered "_Arefacio_". I felt a tingling sensation that warmed me to the tip of my toes. Of course; it was the drying spell. Aggravated that I hadn't thought of this myself, I muttered a thank you.

"I'm sure you will be safe for the night. I will not intrude upon your hospitality." The last word was spoken with a slight edge, as if he were biting his tongue in order to be civil. I trust there are servants quarters here?" Even though the words were spoken with an overtone of politeness, he didn't manage to keep the disdain from his voice.

I mutely nodded, hurt that he wished to be out of my company so soon. Not that I had expected anything else from him. He had made it plain on many occasions that he despised me. Even though I didn't care much for him either, I was stung by the rejection. Here was the first person that I had seen in ages and he couldn't wait to get away. Maybe being alone was truly preferable to enduring this rejection.

I stood straighter, staring at the man in front of me. I would not let him see me break down again. "I'm sure that you can find your way. They are out back. I have things to attend to. Good night." Turning, I ascended the stairs, pausing on the top steps to look down as he spoke.

"Good night…Miss Granger." With a rustle of fabric, he was gone into the night. I was furious, yet, I couldn't suppress the shiver that ran down my spine at the sound of his voice. Gods that voice! One minute so biting that it stung, the next almost a caress. Aggravated, I repeated my new favorite phrase. "Insufferable man!"

I prepared for bed before walking downstairs to make a cup of tea. I stopped at the table for my notes, carrying them back upstairs with me. I absentmindedly set thetea down on the table and grabbed a quill, scratching notes about the addition of Phoenix tears to my potion. It was to be many hours before I drifted off. Sleep would not come easily tonight.

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**A/N:**

**Once again, wonderful thanks to Weemie and Judeldoo for the beta work! **

**Thanks to everyone for the reviews! You don't know just how much they are appreciated. Just think of all the joy you bring to the write with the simple click of a button! ;-)**

**Disclaimer:**

**If you think I own HP and related stuff, then you wouldn't know the book if it danced naked in front of you wearing Dobby's tea cozy! (Just for you, Weemie!)**


	5. Chapter 4: Severus

**Chapter 4: Severus**

Having settled in for the night, I found that I couldn't relax. I can't say that I was surprised, having been through this for most of my adult life. Sleep is not welcome when all you see behind closed eyes are demons. The sad thing was that one of the largest demons was me. I was beyond the help of even the strongest dreamless sleep potion. I am sure that I was never meant to find peace. There are many times that I think death would be a welcome change. I, however, refused to give in. I did not like to lose.

I rose, walking to the window. The night was especially black, the clouds covering the moon. The only light was a faint one from a window on the 2nd floor of the manor. I could only assume it was Miss Granger, preparing for bed.

What had possessed me to tell her to call me by my given name? And why had I lost my temper about it? Ah yes. It was the fact that every time she said "Professor" I was reminded of the little girl who almost fell out of her chair trying to get my attention in class. Always the know-it-all. Strange how she reminded me so much of myself….

In truth, I do not know how long I stood there, lost in a reverie of the past. I realized that the room was freezing, and I shivered. Sometimes I think that I'll never know warmth. With a glance back toward the manor, I saw the light still burning. I wasn't the only one standing a sleepless vigil.

I conjured a fire in the tiny hearth and searched the cabinets. Ah…firewhisky. The cure for all that ails a man. That is, until you come back to your senses. But, sometimes a temporary reprieve is better than nothing. So, a toast to me. Smirking to no one, I raised the decanter and took a long draw. I paced in front of the fire, wondering how long I was to keep up this post. Unless the Dark Lord's plans changed, it would only be a matter of days before more attacks. I could only hope that I would be able to give warning to Dumbledore.

Sighing, I rubbed my temple, trying to relax. Another few swigs of firewhisky, and I started to feel the warmth that I sought. My mind drifted to Miss Granger. I always knew that she was studious, but to have come up with the beginnings of a method to counteract the Cruciatus curse? She was truly brilliant. It is something that I had thought of trying to do for years. But, between teaching and spying, I had no time for personal experiments. How ironic that I would have time now, in a place that I didn't want to be.

Eventually, I dozed. I woke with a start to hear a pop, jumping up with my wand ready. An ugly creature wearing a tea towel was standing in front of me. A house elf. Bloody hell! Could I get no peace?

"I's Alvar, sir. I's here to see if Master Snape needs anything, sir? He stood there, hopping from one foot to another, waiting for my answer.

"No, I don't, and I don't appreciate your sudden emergence!" I was harsher than I meant to be, but I didn't like awaking to what could have been an attack.

"Whatever sir says," said the elf, bowing before disappearing with another pop.

I walked to the mirror, noting that I looked tired. I splashed some water on my face before pulling my hair back with a ribbon. My robes were a bit bedraggled, so I muttered a spell to refresh them.

I suppose I was trying to stall from the inevitable meeting with Miss Granger, but finding that I had nothing else to do, I made my way back to the Manor. I stood in front of the door for a time, wondering what we could possibly have to say to each other.

The door flew open, and there she was, hair flying everywhere. She was slightly out of breath and looked harried. "I'm glad that you're here," she exclaimed, brushing the hair back from her face with her hand. "Please hurry, I'm in a bit of a jam!" Not waiting for me to answer, she turned and ran back into the house.

My curiosity piqued, I followed silently. She ran down the stairs and stopped on the bottom step to look up at me. As I approached her, she turned to look into what appeared to be a laboratory. I say that because, at this moment, it was covered with a thick white mist that seemed to be emitting a wail.

We both covered our ears to block the sound. I knew right away that I was hearing a banshee screaming, but it was different somehow, less powerful. Still, it was enough to make us both weak, and I just caught Miss Granger's arm before she fell to her knees. I roughly pushed her up the stairs and performed several cleaning charms on the room.

The silence was welcome, and I surveyed the room. Not much damage was done, thank goodness. What in the world had the girl been doing? I walked over to survey the remnants of her potion, but could find nothing there to enlighten me.

I started back up the stairs, only to find her unconscious at the top. Of all the inconveniences! I kneeled by her, murmuring "_Ennervate_". The spell did not work, which didn't surprise me, so I picked her up and carried her to the living area. Depositing her on the sofa, I bent over to see that she was breathing. She looked so young and fragile like this. Tentatively, I brushed a strand of hair back from her face. With my touch, a soft, fiery glow seemed to surround her, and warmth infused me. What was this? It was a moment before I pulled myself back. Chastising myself, I stood.

I quickly returned to the laboratory where I located the necessary ingredients to prepare a revival draught. Luckily there was a supply of salamander blood on hand. She was lucky that I was here, a fact that I would no doubt remind her of. Silly girl! Shaking my head, I returned to the sofa and slightly bent her head back. I let the potion trickle down her throat.

It did not take long for the potion to take affect and soon her eyes were opening. The glow faded and she stirred. Blinking a few times, she looked around, confused. When she finally focused on me, her lips parted and she gasped. "Professor?" Her shock was evident, and she tried to sit up.

"You'll be fine now, but would you care to explain what happened? You could have been killed! Then you drag me down there without a warning? What would have happened if we had both lost consciousness?" I expected more from her. Contrary to my outer actions, I knew what she was capable of, and her carelessness irritated me.

She was obviously flustered as she spoke. "I'm sorry, sir! I was adding unicorn hair to my potion and I don't know what happened. Then the wailing started. I was running to get you and you were at the door, so I thought you could help. I didn't think…."

"No, you didn't think! I expected more of you, Miss Granger!" Now, if you're quite able to walk, let us see if we can find out what you did!" Fuming, I strode off without a backward glance.

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**A/N:**

**What would my notes be without a huge "Thank You" to Judy and Jennifer for being my betas? You guys are the best.**

**Thanks for the reviews, everyone. I love seeing them in my inbox. It makes my heart soar.**

**vanityfair****: Basically, you will see why he lost his temper in this chapter. He's a very impatient man by nature, and sometimes things just set him off. You're very likely to see more of this in the future of this fic.**

**Disclaimer:**

**I don't own any of it. I really wish I did, however, then I wouldn't have to worry about dragging my sorry behind to work each morning, even though I'm longing to do something more exciting.**


	6. Chapter 5: Hermione

**Chapter 5: Hermione**

I honestly don't know what happened. I suppose I was tired from having been up late. Even after I dozed off, I was plagued by dark dreams that I could only vaguely remember upon waking. It seemed that all I remembered was fire. I felt lethargic and decided that the best thing would be for me to get to work. It would take a lot of trial and error if I was going to make this potion usable.

Quickly I scrubbed my face and pulled my hair up in a messy bun. Fastening my robe as I walked down the stairs, I grabbed the rest of my notes off of the table. I made a pot of tea, grabbed some biscuits and went to the laboratory. I was delighted to discover it when I arrived, but really hadn't had the opportunity to use it much yet.

It was dark and rather gloomy, but I was used to that, having worked on potions in the dungeons at Hogwarts for seven years. At least for now I didn't have Professor Snape breathing down my neck, trying to find something wrong with everything I was doing. I'm sure he'd find a way to make my life miserable now that he was here.

I never quite understood his animosity. I knew he didn't like students that weren't from his own house, but I know my skills far exceeded those of any others, even that bastard, Draco Malfoy. Nothing I did was good enough, even though I constantly pushed myself to do better than his expectations. The most I ever got from him were a few parting remarks upon my graduation. I must admit, they heartened me, for they were as close to a compliment that I would ever be likely to get.

_It was the leaving feast, and all of the graduates were expected to make their rounds to the professors to say goodbye. I was saddened about leaving, but excited about the future. I had nice conversations with most of my teachers, and even shared a tearful hug with Professor McGonagall, who had always been my favorite. _

_The last person I approached was Professor Snape. I was nervous, but determined to tell him a few things. He looked down his crooked nose at me as I stood in front of him. "Sir, I wanted to tell you that even though you've been my most difficult teacher, I truly enjoyed your classes. I hope to use what I've learned from you in my future." _

_That being said, I waited to hear the biting remark he would no doubt throw in my face. To my shock, it never came._

_He did not smile, but his expression softened a bit. "It is not every day that a student is as talented as you, Miss Granger. I'm sure that you'll excel in whatever you choose to do."_

_I stood rooted to the spot, watching him turn and walk away. _

Yes, that was my day of glory. I sighed and absentmindedly reached for the unicorn hair. Both it and Phoenix tears had healing properties. Mixed together, they would be very powerful. I carefully stirred the mixture, dropping in 3 hairs. Almost instantly, a thick white mist filled the room and an awful wail began.

What had I done? Nothing in the potion should have caused this. I needed help! Covering my ears, I swiftly ran up the stairs and raced to the front door. I pulled it open only to be faced with the very man that had been in my thoughts.

He had opened his mouth as if to speak, but I did not give him time. "I'm glad that you're here. Please hurry, I'm in a bit of a jam!" I immediately turned and ran back toward the lab, hoping he would follow me.

The screeching had grown louder, and I once again covered my ears as I waited for him on the bottom step. I was feeling quite weak at this point, thought I wasn't sure why. I couldn't seem to think properly. My knees buckled, but Professor Snape caught my arm. Without saying a word, he roughly shoved me up the stairs.

I did the best I could, but when I reached the top, blackness surrounded me.

When I awoke, I found him bent over me. I blinked, shaking my head to clear it a bit. What was he doing? He was looking at me as if…no…that was silly. "Professor?" I struggled to sit up.

A tirade followed. "You'll be fine now, but would you care to explain what happened? You could have been killed! Then you drag me down there without a warning? What would have happened if we had both lost consciousness?" He was obviously furious.

I stammered out an incoherent answer. "I'm sorry, sir! I was adding unicorn hair to my potion and I don't know what happened. Then the wailing started. I was running to get you and you were at the door, so I thought you could help. I didn't think…." Damn my tendency to ramble when I was flustered.

"No, you didn't think! I expected more of you, Miss Granger! Now, if you're quite able to walk, let us see if we can find out what you did!" He left me behind, heading toward the laboratory.

I rose, walking slowly after him. What could I have done wrong? I thought back over the potion ingredients. It just didn't make sense.

Upon reaching the potions lab, I saw the professor standing there, holding two jars. One was labeled unicorn mane, the other banshee hair. Oh sweet Merlin! I didn't! But, I must have. Somehow I had gotten the ingredients mixed up. Mentally smacking myself in the head, I spoke. "I guess I mixed them up, sir. I didn't pay close enough attention." Dropping my gaze, I chastised myself for being so careless.

His face was cold and his lips were tight as he spoke. "Again, I remind you of the concentration it takes to attempt potion making. You of all people should know that it demands your undivided attention. How could you be so careless?" His quiet voice affected me more than if he had yelled. I found myself struggling not to cry for the second time in 24 hours.

"I'm sorry sir. I was so tired…." It was a poor excuse, even to my own ears. I tried a different approach. "Thank you sir. If you hadn't been here, things would have been much worse."

I wanted to wipe the smirk off his face, but knew that I could little afford to make him angry again, especially after tending to me and the mess. I said no more, but started to straighten the room.

I was surprised when he placed the jars back on a shelf and labored along side me. We worked in silence for the next fifteen minutes, the lab finally back in order. In fact, it looked better than before I had started. It satisfied me to have things in such good order.

He was standing next to me, holding my notes. "I see you've added to these since I last saw them." He actually seemed interested, so I took that as a good omen. His moods ran so hot and cold that I welcomed a chance at normal conversation.

"Yes I have. Last night I thought about adding the Phoenix tears along with the unicorn mane. If combined, the healing properties of each would be much stronger, protecting the user twofold." I grew excited as I thought about how powerful the two ingredients would be combined.

"Impressive. Have you thought about also adding horse tail? It's very effective for pain relief, and would be useful in case the healing properties of the unicorn mane and phoenix tears didn't work. It also heals and builds connective tissue." He was totally absorbed now, and it was fascinating to listen to him. His voice was smooth and low, creating a hypnotic quality.

"I hadn't thought of that. I don't believe I have horse tail here though." I didn't mean to sound so wistful, but it was disappointing. Maybe there would be a chance of getting more ingredients from Diagon Alley.

He glanced up at me. "I have some in my private stores. I will bring some when I have an opportunity." His face had lost some of its hardness. It was an amazing transformation. He looked almost…human.

We continued the conversation for over an hour, discussing herb properties and reasons to use or not to use certain ingredients. I was surprised to find that I was enjoying myself. This might not be so bad after all.

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**A/N**

**Thanks, as always, to Judy and Jennifer for being such wonderful betas.**

**Thanks to all the readers and reviewers. Just remember, a few words a little button click, and you'll make my day! ;-)**

**Disclaimer: The whole HP universe belongs to JKR.**


	7. Chapter 6: Severus

**Chapter 6: Severus**

One cannot imagine my astonishment when I realized that I was actually enjoying a conversation. And with Miss Granger, no less. I always knew she was intelligent, but I had never considered her to be someone I could discuss anything with. She was just a loud, show-off child. Yet, here I was, trading knowledge with her, like a colleague. It was a new sensation, and I found myself wondering what it would be like to have someone to talk with more often….

Pulling myself from my thoughts, I realized she was asking a question. "Pardon?"

"I asked if you would like a bit of lunch. I know it's a little early, but I find myself eating at unconventional times. Sometimes, I forget about eating altogether if I'm involved in my research. Alvar always chastises me about being too thin. I'm not crazy about letting a house-elf do things for me, but I gave up my dreams for S.P.E.W. long ago." She stopped talking and chewed on her lower lip, something I had see her do many times during her years at Hogwarts.

Ah. The nervous, rambling girl was back. It amused me how someone so sure and steady about work could be so shy about normal conversation. Yes, she was still very young. I hesitated, unsure of what to do. On one hand, it was nice to be in the company of another person. On the other, I would be in the company of another person, which I was not used to.

"Not today, Miss Granger, I have other duties to attend to." I noticed that her face fell with my answer, which puzzled me. Surely she didn't desire my company? I felt the sudden urge to let her know that it was not her fault that I wasn't going to stay, but I held my silence. It would not do to get too close to anyone.

"Yes, sir." She started organizing the notes she had taken over the past hour. "I suppose then, I'll let you get to your _duties_." She put the notes in an orderly pile, her movements very stiff.

Yes, she was upset. Interesting. And if she kept up that infernal "Sir", I was going to go mad; it was too reminiscent of my role as her professor. If we were to be working together, I needed to differentiate between the woman she had become and the annoying adolescent that I had taught at Hogwarts. "As I said last night, I do have a name and you would be doing me a tremendous favor by using it. The 'Professor' and the 'Sir' make it hard for me to remember that you have grown up.

She grew quite pink at this, and her teeth worried her lower lip some more. "I will try…Severus. It's just quite an adjustment for me. I also have a first name, as you well know." She stood there, looking at me expectantly.

I wasn't about to play her game. "Well, I guess we will both have to make adjustments then. Now, if you will excuse me, I must go." She moved aside and let me pass. It was odd that I actually felt a twinge of guilt at leaving her alone again. This inner conflict of emotions was very unsettling for me. Frowning, I made my way to the door. Once outside, I wondered who I should contact first.

The decision was taken out of my hands as the mark on my left forearm began to burn, ever the reminder of what I had become. Wincing, I Apparated to the Dark Lord's side, preparing myself and my mind for the confrontation.

"Severus. You are quite prompt." Voldemort's red eyes and face appeared before me. "There have been many in our group who say that you are a traitor. I, however, insist that you are loyal to me." His eyes felt as if they were burning into my skin.

Bowing in front of him, I spoke. "I am delighted, My Lord. You know that I would never betray you." I noticed there were no other Death Eaters with us, making me realize that he wished to see if he could find anything against me.

I carefully wiped my mind of all but the information I wished him to see. I raised my bowed head and looked at him. I could feel his mind probing, like an invader in my brain. Slowly, I allowed the thoughts and information I wished him to know to push through.

"It has been some time since I last saw you." Silence followed as he sifted through my thoughts. "You are assigned to watch the Granger girl? That could prove most valuable to us." His face twisted in what passed for a smile on his face, but looked more like a grimace. "I knew that Dumbledore had hidden her away. It is fortunate for us that you have her within your grasp."

I had expected as much. "I knew you would be pleased, My Lord. It is always in our best interests to have dealings with someone so close to Potter. Especially one with so much…promise." I knew that in order to keep her safe, he must believe that he could use her later. The Manor was unplottable, and Dumbledore had performed the Fidelius charm, making himself the secret keeper. Unless he chose to divulge the information to others, as he had me, it was still hidden. I did not have to concern myself with Voldemort trying to obtain the information from me, for I could not give it to him.

"I have heard that the Mud-blood is bright," he said scathingly. "I think it would be in my best interest to let her be…for now." He looked searchingly at me. "You would do well to work with her, since it has been quite some time since you've contributed to our cause. It's been a concern to me, and I do not like having to question your loyalty."

I steeled myself for what was to come. The curse hit me like a thousand burning pokers, causing my body to go rigid. One never grows used to such pain. A cold sweat broke out on my brow and I fell to my knees. I would not make a sound. I refused to give in to him. My ears rang as his sick laughter filled the air. "I do so enjoy seeing you fight, Severus. It's tiresome always having people begging me to stop." He muttered "_Crucio_" once more.

"See that you find a way to make yourself useful. I would dislike having to repeat what has happened in your past." His red eyes glowed as he thought back to that night at the Snape Manor.

"The Death Eaters will be attacking more Muggles tonight. Nothing enrages that old fool more than when we assault the innocent." With that, he left me.

Sickened at the reference to what he had done to my mother, I pulled myself to my feet. Sometimes, I feel it would be so easy to revert to the dark side, to just give in. Then, I think back to her, the only one who had loved me, and my resolve to end this strengthens.

More attacks would mean more deaths. It was providential that my status as a spy prevented me from attending most raids. I had done many terrible things in my lifetime, so the opportunity to be neutral appealed to me.

Still a little stunned from the pain, I Apparated back to the Manor. "_Incendio_". I kneeled in front of the fireplace, looking into it. I only hoped Dumbledore would be there. Thankful when I saw him through the fire, I spoke.

"Headmaster, I just returned from a meeting with the Dark Lord. There are to be more attacks." I sank into a chair to collect myself.

He wasted no time in answering. "Severus, I believe we should meet. Please bring Hermione with you." His eyes did not hold their customary twinkle. "There is something I need to discuss with you both."

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**A/N: I know it has been a while since my last update. It wasn't for lack of having this chapter done. I am trying to space them out better. I only have one more written after this one, and haven't had time and/or motivation to write more yet. Our little one is due in less that 6 weeks, so I've been consumed with that. LOL I promise not to desert you all though. I will finish this story.**

**Thanks again to Judy and Jennifer for being the wonderful betas that they are. **

**Thanks to those of you who have left reviews. They mean a lot!**

**Disclaimer: JKR owns them all. I just like to play with them once in a while.**


	8. Chapter 7: Hermione

**Chapter 7: Hermione**

Fuming, I stormed through the house. In truth, I didn't know why I was so mad, or what had even possessed me to ask him to stay for a bite of lunch. It had to be because I was lonely, for I certainly did not wish to seek out his company. But, if I were honest, I had hoped to share more ideas with him. I'd never been able to talk to Harry or Ron about potions, ingredients, or theories. All they wanted to do was complain about school work or talk about Quidditch.

Idly, I sank down on the sofa. The room was chilly and I thought of making a fire. Almost instantly, a blaze started in the fireplace. Well, that was a surprise! I know that many witches and wizards, especially children, can perform unintentional magic when upset, but I wasn't _that_ upset. I wonder….

"Miss, Alvar has lunch ready, please." The ugly little elf spoke timidly as he balanced a tray in his right hand. "Miss needs to eat. She's going to make herself sick, she is!" He stood there fidgeting, waiting for me to respond.

I glanced over at him. "Put the tray on the end table, Alvar, and thank you." He really was a dear to worry over me, even if it was irritating at times. "Everything looks delicious. You really didn't need to go to that much trouble."

"Miss needs to remember she must not thank Alvar. Alvar is here to do her bidding." With a pop, he disappeared.

"Silly elf." I knew that he felt it was his duty, but it still angered me that house-elves were basically no more than slaves. But, I couldn't change everything, especially if they didn't want to help themselves.

I picked up half of a sandwich and mindlessly took a bite. The fire drew my attention again. The flames were so hot that the bases flickered blue, much like the bluebell flames I was fond of creating in my youth. I wonder if Profes…Severus ever realized it was I that set his robes on fire during that first Quidditch match? I smiled at the thought of his scathing response, had he known.

The flames rose higher. I blinked a few times, believing my eyes were playing a trick on me. What I saw was astounding. I jumped up and went to kneel by the fireplace, dropping the food in my haste. There were images in the fire. I leaned closer, not caring if the heat scorched my face.

I saw a collaboration of confusing shapes and faces. They were all jumbled and I strained to make out what they were. Slowly, one emerged out of the others. With a gasp, I realized that my parents were there. A strained sob escaped my throat as I thought of how much I missed them. They were smiling and talking to each other. Oh, how I wished I was with them!

As suddenly as they had appeared, they were gone. Yet another image appeared in its place. Again, I saw my parents, sitting next to one another. My father was reading and my mother was resting her head against his shoulder. Sitting up as though they heard something, looks of horror spread across their faces. I saw a flash of green and then no more. The flames died down to nothing.

At that very moment, the front door to the Manor burst open. My nerves were on edge and I screamed. In a moment I was on my feet with my wand out.

In front of me stood my former professor. He looked paler than usual, and didn't appear to be very steady on his feet. Shaking, I was hesitant to lower my wand. "What do you want?" I was in no mood to be polite.

He stared at me a moment before speaking. "Headmaster Dumbledore wishes to see us both." He took a step toward me. A look of slight concern passed over his face. "Are you quite alright? You look as if you've seen a ghost."

I let my hand drop to my side. "My nerves are on edge. I saw something…." Faltering, I stopped. How was I supposed to explain what I saw in the fire? I was just overtired, that was all. The mention of more attacks on Muggles had put this in my head. It was nothing. "Never mind."

With another puzzled look, he let the matter drop. "We must go at once. I assume you are not hooked up to the Floo Network?"

"Of course not. This place is unplottable, so Dumbledore wouldn't have connected it to the Floo." Once again, I realized how cut off I was from most of the Wizarding world.

"We must use a Portkey, then. He beckoned me to him, pulling a ruby amulet by the chain from under his robes. Again I noticed how unsteady he was. There were beads of sweat popping out on his brow and his breathing was heavy. As he grasped the chain, his robe sleeve slid up, revealing the Dark Mark. It was very black with a slight glow tracing it. Upon noticing my stare, he pulled the sleeve down, glaring at me. I realized then where he had been and why he looked so ill. He had just returned from a summons from Voldemort. The thought made me sick.

"Sir…Severus. You need rest. What can I do to help?" My concern for him overrode my earlier fright. I moved toward him, trying to help.

He pushed aside my attempt to steady him. "There is nothing you can do, you silly girl!" His anger was evident, but I didn't care. He was obviously upset at being caught in a damaged state. "Stop pestering me. I certainly don't need your help!"

Nothing made me angrier than being called a silly girl. Especially by the former professor that always made me feel inferior. "Stop being such a child! You're barely standing on your feet. I'm surprised you made it back here!" I stood my ground, narrowing my eyes. "I'm not going anywhere with you until you rest. Was it the Cruciatus?"

He surveyed me for a moment before grudgingly admitted that it was. That was all I needed to know. I ran down the stairs to the lab, wishing that I had finished the potion I was working on earlier. It would have been a good opportunity to test it. With the mistake I had made, though, there hadn't been time. Instead, I grabbed a simple healing potion and something for the pain.

Once back upstairs, I found him sitting on the couch, still visibly shaken. Not for the first time, I contemplated how much he had been put through for the Order. He was a stronger man than most to have withstood years of this torture.

"Drink these." He hesitated, snarling his nose at what I offered. Infernal man! "They're not poison! It's just something for the pain and a healing draught. I know it won't help much, but at least it's something." I stood there, holding out the vials and tapping my foot impatiently.

He finally took what I offered, drinking them quickly, without even a grimace. I did not expect thanks, and was greatly surprised when he handed me back the vials with a murmured "Thank you." He did not look at me, but instead ignored my existence in the room.

"No thanks are necessary." I turned and went back to the lab, giving him some time to collect himself. I knew he did not appreciate having a witness to his weakness.

Upon my return, he was on his feet and looking much better. He did not say a word about what had passed, but instead motioned for me to come to him, once again pulling out the ruby amulet.

Hesitantly, I reached for it, gasping when our hands touched. It was an instant flow of warmth. A surprised look on Severus' face told me that he had felt it as well. I did not have time to think about it, however. A quick rush of air flew past me, along with that nauseating pull below my naval, and in an instant we appeared in Dumbledore's office.

**

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****A/N:**

**There is a reason for the ruby amulet and I will explain it with the next chapter.**

**Once again, thanks to my wonderful betas. You all are amazing!**

**Sorry for the delay in posting. Our little bundle of joy arrived earlier than expected, so I've been experiencing all new joys of motherhood. LOL It's awesome.**

**I do plan to continue this story. As of now, I'm not sure whether I'll incorporate some items from HBP into it, but we'll see. This is the last full chapter that I have written, but I have the next almost completed and a lot of bits and pieces written that I have to weave in. Thanks so much for hanging in there with me! I appreciate all of the readers and reviewers.**

**Disclaimer:**

**I own nothing but my fanciful ideas.**


	9. Chapter 8: Dumbledore

**Chapter 8: Dumbledore**

Once again, I find myself at the window. One wouldn't think that an inner room in the castle would have a window, but after all, we are magical and one must find enjoyment where one can. That explained my penchant for sweets. I know others laugh at me for it, but it reminds me that there are still good things in this world.

The dark clouds hung in the air like so many charred and blackened remains. They just served to remind me how many lives had been destroyed. A jagged bolt of lightening tore through the sky and a rumble of thunder answered. Sighing, I thought about what I had to do. One never wants to let go of life, but sometimes sacrifices must be made. It was only a matter of time before my life would be forfeit, and there were many loose ends to tie.

Severus and Hermione are not going to like what I have to say to them, but it must be done. My strongest weakness has always been the fact that I care too much. With Harry, I waited too long to tell him what I knew, all because I thought he was too young to face what lay ahead. I should have learned my lesson then, but I did not.

The glittering Pensieve caught my attention. It seems that so many of my memories are floating around in that small dish. Parting the liquid with my fingers, I caught sight of a pair of large glasses that were hiding a Seer's eyes….

_An unexpected knock at my door caused me to look up. "Enter." I wondered who would be coming to see me at this hour. To my surprise, it was Sybill Trelawny. A sense of foreboding washed over me. "Sybill, it's a surprise to see you here." _

_She had paused several feet inside of the doorway, and remained there. I knew at once this was not a social call, for she rarely left her quarters to venture in the lower parts of the castle. The far away look in her eyes only confirmed what I had suspected. Another prophecy. Her voice was raspy as she spoke._

"_In the pursuit of the light, a great wizard will fall. Others will fight for his Cause, made stronger by his memory. Some years from now, one will emerge with great powers unknown to her. This one will be linked with the one born as the seventh month dies. Another will assist in the surfacing of these works, but will be reluctant to do so. This one will have done much good for the Cause, but will put his life in more danger by fulfilling their destiny. Fire will follow where they lead. Tragedy will befall many before their power is summoned, but once awakened, it will have the power to aid in the defeat of the Dark Lord." _

_Before I could utter a reply, Sybill coughed, coming out of her trance. A look of confusion came to her face._

"_Headmaster? What happened? Where am I?" She looked around her, realizing she was in my office._

"_You've made another prophecy, Sybill. I must insist that you say naught of this to anyone." I knew she liked to brag that she had the sight. Even if she didn't remember what she had predicted, she might be in danger if others, especially followers of Voldemort, knew that she had the knowledge in her mind._

"_Of course, Headmaster. Now, if you will excuse me, I must return to my tower.." With that, she turned and left me, leaving me to ponder the future._

In the years since I had of course realized who she was speaking of. Hermione Granger was not only the brightest witch of her age; she was rooted firmly in the circle of friends surrounding Harry Potter. These poor children had too much to bear. I never spoke nor even hinted at what I knew, delaying the even heavier burden that would fall on her shoulders. I watched her from afar, recognizing signs of what was to come. Her skill in many areas, especially when fire was involved was amazing. Yes, she would be a great help.

Severus would be much harder to persuade for he had already put his life on the line many times as a spy. He detested Harry because of his father, and in turn, Hermione and Ron for being faithful friends. Still, he protected them many times, in spite of his disgust. I was afraid though, that this task might be too great for him, for he was the one foreordained to aid Hermione. If he could move past his prejudice, there might be more at stake than the defeat of Voldemort. This kind of power forged a bond that could not be broken.

As for myself, I knew that my time was dwindling. There was much to do. I was pulled from my thoughts as a noise attracted my attention, and I turned. They had arrived.

"Severus, Hermione, thank you for coming so quickly. I'm afraid we have much to discuss. Please sit." Hermione looked worried at my seriousness. She sank into a chair in front of my desk while Severus rigidly sat down. He was the first to speak.

"Albus, as I said when I spoke with you earlier, the Dark Lord called me to him earlier today." He paused to glance over at Hermione. "He knows that I'm assigned to watch Miss…Hermione. For now he is content to let her be, but I'm afraid that soon he will wish to use her to his advantage."

"Yes, I'm sure you are right. That is one of the reasons that I sent you to her, Severus." I ignored the irritated look on his face, and glanced at Hermione. She was deep in thought, a confused look on her face. Shifting my gaze back to the younger wizard, I surveyed him critically and cleared my throat. "I assume he again questioned your loyalty, my boy?"

"He did nothing that I have not been through before. I had help on my return this time." Severus averted his eyes from the young witch beside him and continued. "The Dark Lord also gave me a warning, knowing I would pass it on to you. There are to be more Muggle attacks, and soon. I would be surprised if they haven't already begun."

"I see. It is as we feared." I sighed and removed my half-moon glasses, pausing to rub the bridge of my nose.

Hermione started to speak, but was stopped when I held up my hand. "Please let me speak first. There is a reason that I had Severus bring you with him today. There is something that you must know. I trust that you've heard of different forms of elemental magic, Hermione?"

In the moments before any of us spoke again, I could see that her mind was racing, thinking of recent events, before grasping what I was saying. Her face held hurt, confusion, and anger.

Looking at Severus, I could see that he didn't quite understand, but his hand involuntarily went to the ruby amulet that circled his throat.

This was not going to be easy.

* * *

**A/N: Ok, so I said I'd explain the ruby amulet in this chapter, but I lied. It's actually in the next chapter, because the next chapter was originally this chapter, but I decided that another chapter was needed between the last chapter and the next chapter. Have I lost you yet? LMAO Anyway, stay tuned! **

**Thanks again to my wonderful betas. You all are such a huge help!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned HP, I'd be vacationing on a tropical island while some cabana boy named Raoul rubbed oil on me and another cabana boy named Juan brought me endless pina coladas.**


	10. Chapter 9: Hermione

**Chapter 9: Hermione**

Arriving in Dumbledore's office, I had but a moment to gather my bearings before he spoke. "Severus, Hermione. Thank you for coming so quickly. I'm afraid we have much to discuss. Please sit." His normally sparkling eyes were very serious.

I sank into a nearby chair, wondering what was in store for us. This is the first time since I'd been at the Manor that Dumbledore wanted to speak with me. The fact that this meeting came so quickly after Severus was sent to watch over me, worried me immensely. I knew that what he was going to say would change my life, though I could not have said how I knew.

Severus was the first to speak. "Albus, as I said when I spoke with you earlier, the Dark Lord called me to him earlier today." He paused to glance over at me. "He knows that I'm assigned to watch Mis…Hermione. For now he is content to let her be, but I'm afraid that soon he will wish to use her to his advantage."

My thoughts were muddled. What could he possibly want to use me for? As bait for Harry? No, it didn't make sense. Harry was too smart to fall for something like that. So, what could it be?

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Yes, I'm sure you are correct." He surveyed the younger wizard before he spoke again. "I assume he again questioned your loyalty, my boy?" He looked at the younger wizard with concern in his eyes, which made me think, once again, of the sacrifices Severus had made for the Cause. An unexpected ache filled me as I thought of the isolation that surrounded him.

"He did nothing that I have not been through before. I had help on my return this time."

I flashed a surprised look at him, unwilling to believe he had mentioned my help. It was evident that he was struggling to control his tone, but he avoided my gaze and continued.

"The Dark Lord also gave me a warning, quite aware that I would pass it on to you. There are to be more Muggle attacks, and soon. I would be surprised if they haven't already begun."

"I see. It is as we feared." Dumbledore sighed and removed his half-moon spectacles, pausing to rub the bridge of his nose. He looked older than I remembered, and very tired.

I started to speak, but stopped due to Dumbledore's sudden hand gesture. "Please let me speak first, Hermione. There is a reason I had Severus bring you with him today. There is something that you must know. I trust that you've heard of the different forms of elemental magic, Hermione?"

"Yes, of course." I had naturally read all about elemental magic, but I was still having a hard time trying to get my mind around Dumbledore's point. "I don't see how that concerns me though, as most forms of elemental magic went out of practice ages ago." Racking my brain, I thought of the basic elements. Air, earth, water…and fire. With a start, I thought back to what I had seen earlier in the flames and the warmth spreading through me upon grasping the ruby amulet with Severus. No, it couldn't be! There must be some mistake. Dumbfounded, I could only stare at Dumbledore.

"Hermione, I've known for some time that you have a gift in the form of Pyromancy. However yours is much stronger than has been seen for years. You have no need of giving a sacrifice to the flames to see visions as you are capable of doing it on your own. With this also comes a level of elemental magic. The fire element is very powerful, as you well know."

At this point I looked over at Severus. I had assumed that Dumbledore had shared this information with him, but he was frowning and looked unconvinced. "If she has this gift, Albus, why have we not seen light of it before? I believe even Trelawney found her abilities at Divination laughable." The scornful tone was back in his voice as he spoke.

Anger boiled up once again. "As if anything that woman said could be relied on! I know she was able to make a few prophecies, but still, that doesn't mean she's a true Seer!" Just recalling that stuffy room and bug of a woman irritated me. And now to think I might be considered some form of a Seer?

Dumbledore remained silent, as did Severus. Once again, I spoke. "Besides, as Severus said, why haven't I known about this before? Why would it just appear to me now?"

"Because, dear girl, now we need you." Dumbledore bowed his head a bit and looked at his hands. "This will not be easy for you." He paused, and looked at Severus. "There is another reason I sent you to look after Hermione, my boy. While you do not have the intensity of elemental magic that Hermione has, you do have powers of your own. In other words, you are the one who can draw hers out."

Severus did not speak at all, and I knew he was also thinking of the amulet earlier and the radiating warmth that suffused us both. His brow creased into a frown, his countenance grim.

"There is a reason that your Portkey is a Ruby, Severus."

He said no more, for Severus and I both knew what he was referring to. Ruby is derived from the Latin word "rubens", which means "red". The most powerful characteristic of the stone is its color with two magical elements tied to the ruby red color. Fire and blood. The ruby is also a symbol of powerful feelings; the passionate and unbridled love which two people feel for each other. I felt my face flush at that remembrance. Passion and love? A shiver ran down my spine at the unbidden thoughts that came to my mind.

I thought again of the way in which the fire started earlier and the images that I saw there. "Earlier, I saw things in the flames, but thought I was just worried, however…" Trailing off, I took in the full effect of what I had seen. "I saw my parents. There was a flash of green light! And you're speaking of more attacks on Muggles!"

There were pitying glances from both Dumbledore and Severus, but I did not need pity! Standing up with my fists at my side, I screamed at them. "We have to do something! Since I obviously know what might happen, we have to protect them!"

"My child, we are doing what we can. There are protective measures in place. I have sent Nymphadora and Remus to watch over them. Still, there is a chance that it may not be enough." Dumbledore stood and moved toward me, grasping me by the shoulders.

"I must go to them. I have to do something!" I knew that I was repeating the same things over and over, but I didn't care. The only thoughts in my head were for my parents' safety.

"You can't go, Hermione. They are in enough danger as it is; going to them would only serve to make their plight more precarious. It will not be long until Voldemort learns of your powers and wants to use them for his benefit. In fact, Severus will be telling him shortly. "

Severus looked at Dumbledore in surprise. "Headmaster, surely that isn't the best thing to do under the circumstances." His face was strained and I could see that he was struggling to maintain his composure. He was obviously irritated at being put in more danger because of me.

"We have no choice. If you did not inform him and he found out through other channels, your place as spy would be forfeit. He would not believe that you knew nothing of it and would therefore make you pay dearly for keeping secrets from him."

This just served to unsettle me further. "Sir! You can't be serious. Surely there is a way…" I was cut off once again.

"Hermione, listen to me. You must be strong. There is a long road ahead, and you will be needed. You will be called on to do things that you would not do under normal conditions and you must do them in order to help Harry defeat Voldemort. We need you to be safe."

"Once the Dark Lord finds out about this, he will try to get me to bend the girl to his will. If that doesn't work, he will simply take her." Severus spoke without feeling.

"I'm aware of that. That is why it is imperative that you two work together. Not only do you two share a common bond Severus, you must train her to block her mind so that she will be ready to face Voldemort. I'm afraid there is no other way."

Face Voldemort? I was dimly aware that Dumbledore and Severus were still talking. My head was spinning with all of the information I had just learned. Pyromancy. My parents. Facing Voldemort. I was brought back to reality by Dumbledore speaking to me once again.

"I will call for you again soon, but for now, return to the manor with Severus. I am sorry, but I must have him come back to me, for there are other things that I need to discuss with him."

I did not protest when Severus reached for my hand and touched the amulet. My mind was racing so quickly that it was impossible to form words. Warmth suffused me as I felt the familiar pull on my naval.

**A/N:**

**Ah, finally a new chapter. I can't tell you all how difficult this one was to write. This was my 4th attempt, and I feel that it's better than the first drafts, but I'm still not 100 happy with it. Anyway, thanks a ton to Judy and Jennifer for reading, re-reading, and reading again! You are the best!**

**So, there you go. The significance of the ruby amulet is finally in the open. **

**Sorry for the delay. You all are wonderful. Thanks again for the wonderful reviews. **

**Disclaimer: JKR rules.**


	11. Chapter 10: Severus

**Chapter 10: Severus**

I could not believe what I was hearing come out of Albus' mouth. Granted, he was always coming up with things that surprised me, but this one was absurd. Pyromancy? It's such an old form of magic that one hardly hears of it anymore. Now he was saying that Hermione was gifted with it and I was destined to aid her?

I rubbed my temple as the pain that had subsided earlier returned with vigor. My very bones ached and my skin felt scorched. I am getting older and more tired. This new development gave me no hope for peace anytime soon.

I half-heartedly listened to Albus trying to calm Miss Granger. Hermione. Tightening my lips, I grew more aggravated that I was on a first name basis with her. Formalities suited me better, for they helped me maintain necessary distance. Of course, it didn't look like distance would be of any help to me now.

I thought about the non-magical properties of the ruby. It's strongly associated with passion and love. If the idea wasn't so annoyingly ridiculous, I might laugh. I'm not celibate, not by any means. But, I have never experienced love, nor have I wanted to. It was much easier to visit a brothel in Knockturn Alley. For several galleons, I leave with my lust sated and no attachment to worry about.

Pulling myself from my thoughts, I turned my ear to Albus.

"You can't go, Hermione. They are in enough danger as it is; going to them would only serve to make their plight more precarious. It will not be long until Voldemort learns of your powers and wants to use them for his benefit. In fact, Severus will be telling him shortly." He turned his gaze to me and nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Headmaster, surely that isn't the best thing to do under the circumstances." The old man has completely lost his mind. I frowned, thinking of how much danger this was going to put the girl in, not to mention, it would make my status as a spy even more unstable.

"We have no choice. If you did not inform him and he found out through other channels, your place as spy would be forfeit. He would not believe that you knew nothing of it and would therefore make you pay dearly for keeping secrets from him."

He was right, even though it pained me to admit it. Still, I did not like the idea. It was one thing for me to be endangered, since I am used to it, but quite another to put an innocent girl up before one of the most feared wizards of all time. She was apparently thinking the same thing.

"Sir! You can't be serious. Surely there is a way…" She was stopped short by Albus.

"Hermione, listen to me. You must be strong. There is a long road ahead, and you will be needed. You will be called on to do things that you would not do under normal conditions and you must do them in order to help Harry defeat Voldemort. We need you to be safe."

I imagine that she was praying to the Gods to make all of this go away. I knew from past experience that she would do what was necessary, but that did not mean it was fair.

"Once the Dark Lord finds out about this, he will try to get me to bend the girl to his will. If that doesn't work, he will simply take her." With every passing minute I grew more uncomfortable with the conversation.

Albus turned to me and spoke. "I'm aware of that. That is why it is imperative that you two work together. Not only do you share a common bond Severus, you must train her to block her mind so that she will be ready to face Voldemort. I'm afraid there is no other way."

No other way? I could think of a thousand other ways, all of which involve me being far away from this place and these people. But, it wouldn't do to shirk my duty. I've come this far and can't quit now.

I couldn't resist a sneer. "I hope she is more capable that Potter when it comes to Occlumency. Otherwise, we'll all be in trouble." I knew that I was just being difficult, but the whole situation rankled my nerves. I was actually excited to be able to train someone capable.

"Severus, can you just once stop being so snide? After this many years, it grows tiresome."

Feeling like a child that has been scolded, I retreated to silence. It wasn't often that he commented on my attitude and when he did, it made me feel as if I was in nappies again. Standing, I turned away as he spoke to Hermione once more.

"I will call for you again soon, but for now, return to the manor with Severus. I am sorry, but I must have him come back to me, for there are other things that I need to discuss with him."

So, we are not finished. At least maybe now I'll get some more answers. The sooner, the better.

The girl was silent as I took her hand. The jolt of warmth was instantaneous and flooded my body, immediately soothing the aches and pains that had returned. Yet another interesting turn of events. Maybe there is a way to harness that energy to help others. With a touch of my hand to the amulet, we were both back at Shacklebolt Manor.

Without a word, Hermione looked up at me, rather dazed with all that she had heard. Shaking her head as if to clear it, her eyes grew troubled. I knew she was once again thinking of her parents and the fact that they were in great danger.

Her next words surprised me.

"Will you promise to come back after you've spoken with Dumbledore?" She sounded much like the child she still was, frightened and alone. Gone was the defiance that she normally showed to me. I felt the need to soothe and protect her, which only served to irritate me. This would not do!

"It is, after all, my obligation to return. Unlikely as it sounds, I take my charge seriously." There! The necessary aloofness was back. Her expression changed to anger and she pressed her lips together to hold back a sharp retort.

"Well, then, go! I'd hate to burden you further." She whirled sharply and marched up the stairs.

Sighing, I shook my head. I would never understand the mind of a woman. Hopefully she wouldn't do anything to endanger herself in my absence. I once again grasped the amulet and returned to Hogwarts.

* * *

Albus was still sitting at his desk when I arrived. In the moment before he looked up at me, I noticed that he appeared older than a few moments before. It saddened me to think that this powerful wizard was starting to deteriorate. 

"Severus, thank you for returning so swiftly. There is another matter of great importance that I must speak with you about."

As if his revelation earlier wasn't enough? "I assumed so; otherwise you would not have had me return."

His face grew thoughtful. "Remember long ago when you came to me after your mother's death?"

I snorted. "That is not something that I'm likely to forget. It is, after all, the reason that I am here today." The doddering old fool! How many times must he remind me of that night?

"I can never repay you for what you have done for the Order and for me. I realize what a sacrifice this life has been and I'm sorry that I can't give you back what you have lost." He paused, as if weighing his words carefully. "I always take it for granted that you know how much you mean to me, but perhaps I don't tell you enough. I look on you as a son and I trust you implicitly."

Of all the things that I expected to hear, this was not one of them. Albus knows that I detest outward displays of emotion and he usually respects my wishes. The fact that he was telling me this now made my throat tighten with restrained emotion.

"It is folly to place such store in a mere human being, Albus." I spoke without emotion, for I did not want him to suspect that I felt the same. This man had been everything to me that my father had not. I'm not saying that he didn't use me to further his Cause, but I knew that he only did what was necessary, and I respected him for that.

The old twinkle returned to his eyes and I knew that my words did not fool him. "Yes, well perhaps you are right, Severus. I am glad that you view it that way. It will make what I'm about to ask you to do much easier."

As he calmly told me of the prophecy and his interpretation of it, I wondered how he could take his own demise so calmly. When he told me what else I must do, I was filled with panic.

He sadly shook his head, reaching across to put a hand on my shoulder. "I realize that you're already shouldering many burdens and this will be difficult, but you must do as I ask."

"I cannot believe that after I all have done that you would ask this of me! I won't do it, I refuse." I was so upset that I didn't care who saw my emotions. I couldn't do it. I would not be the one to kill Albus Dumbledore!

**

* * *

A/N: **

**Thanks to Jennifer for doing the beta for this chapter.**

**As you can see, I'm going in the vein of many people's theories of HBP (mine included) that there was some sort of agreement between Severus and Albus about what had to happen. However, it is in a totally different setting, so I hope you enjoy how I'm twisting it. LOL**

**Disclaimer:**

**A given. Of course, if I owned these characters, Severus would be too busy to participate in this fic right now. whistles innocently LOL**


	12. Chapter 11: Hermione

**Chapter 11: Hermione****  
**

That was all I was to him? An obligation and a chore? Really, that man was so infuriating. As if I were a child that had to be watched so she wouldn't stick her hand in the biscuit crock! How could he be so heartless after the conversation we just had with Dumbledore? We were going to have to work together from now on; you'd think he would try to be more accommodating. Oh, who was I kidding? Severus Snape and accommodation mixed about as well as oil and water.

In frustration, I yelled, letting forth all of the curse words that I had heard Ron and Harry use over the years, even making up some new choice words of my own. I even added a few jinxes to the mix, managing to wreak havoc on the room. I noticed with aggravation that my anger was making the fire dance, the flames growing higher with each moment. Blast and Damnation! Why me?

Apparently I was just supposed to sit here like a good little girl, waiting to be told what to do. I think not! I, at least, had to make sure that my parents were safe. Pacing, I tried to think rationally. I was not naïve enough to think that I could go it on my own and I knew for sure that I wouldn't be able to talk my former professor into helping me.

Of course! Why didn't I think of it before? Grabbing a quill and some parchment, I scribbled a hasty note to Harry. Summoning Alvar, I asked that he make sure it was sent right away.

"Would Miss like Alvar to deliver it to Harry Potter?" Alvar's wrinkled hands gripped the parchment as if it were the most precious thing in the world.

"That would be wonderful, Alvar. Can you go now?" I was anxious to hear back from Harry and wanted an answer as soon as possible.

"Yes Miss. Alvar would be happy to deliver it to Harry Potter." With a sharp pop, he disappeared.

Well, now I just had to wait. I knew that if I asked for help, Harry would come, and more than likely he would have Ron and possibly Ginny in tow.

Just the thought of seeing my friends soon made me feel better. It had been over a month since I'd heard from them and even longer since I had seen my parents. A lump formed in my throat, but I swallowed it down and pushed the thought of my parents from my head.

I knew it would be a bit until I heard from Harry, so I went down to the laboratory to start preparing another batch of the potion I was working on. As a precaution, I took the Banshee hair and moved it to another shelf. I didn't want to have another mix up like I had this morning. How could I have been so stupid?

Was it only this morning? It seemed like ages ago since my life had practically been turned upside down. Frowning, I thought about how different it was going to be from now on. I try to put on a brave face to the world, but I tended to worry a lot more than people thought. The knowledge that I would have to face Voldemort made me physically sick. Coupled with lack of sleep, stress, and aggravation, I barely made it to the loo before my lunch revisited me.

Sinking down to the cold floor, I buried my face in my hands and allowed self-pity to wash over me for just a moment. Then, deciding it was stupid to wallow; I stood and splashed water on my face. The cool liquid calmed me, and I faced my reflection with decision. Talking to myself had become quite a habit in my seclusion, so I had no problem doing it now.

"Chin up, Granger! After all, you are a Gryffindor, so it's about time you acted like one! You've been complaining about not doing anything to aid in the war. Well, now you have a purpose, so face it like a woman."

My reflection blanched, but I refused to pay attention to the person looking back at me. She looked more like a scared little girl than a brave woman. Turning, I made my way back to the laboratory just as a pop sounded.

"Miss, I have a letter from Harry Potter! Alvar waited until Harry Potter wrote Miss back, he did!" I noted that the elf was shaking from excitement as he handed me a roll of parchment that had Harry's insignia on it before he disappeared with a pop.

Taking a moment to admire the fierce lion with a snake in its mouth, I opened the letter.

_Hermione,_

_It is good to hear from you, even under the circumstances. _

_I will do what I can to make sure your parents are safe and then I'll come to you. I'm sure Ron will want to see you as well as Ginny. I'll speak to Dumbledore about passage to your location, since he has never told us where you are. _

_Dumbledore sent Snape? I would think almost anyone would be better than that git! Take care, Hermione, and watch your back with him. You never know…._

_I'm curious to know what other news you have. I suppose it's best to talk about it in person._

_See you soon._

_Harry_

Sighing, I rolled the letter back up. A creak on the stairs startled me, and I looked up to see said git descending. "You're back."

"Your way of stating the obvious is tiring. I made a promise, didn't I?" His voice was without emotion.

Something in his face disturbed me. Tentatively, I spoke. "What was it that Dumbledore wanted?"

Barely suppressed rage flowed though him at my question. I could feel it stem from his very bones. "If it was important for you to know, I'm sure he wouldn't have sent you back here. What he had to say was for my ears only, and I'd thank you to not stick your impertinent little nose where it doesn't belong!"

I drew myself up to my full height, which was over a half foot short of his. The room was crackling with invisible energy. "Will you stop being such an arse? Maybe if your nose wasn't already bent out of shape you would see to reason! We have to work together now, and I need as much information as I can get. Just because you don't like my questions doesn't mean that I'll stop asking them."

"The day you stop pestering me with questions will be the day that hell has frozen over. But, that doesn't mean that I have to answer them. What took place between Dumbledore and me is indeed none of your concern and has no bearing on our current situation."

At an impasse, we both stood glaring at each other. Realizing that we would get nowhere if we continued in this way, I decided to extend an olive branch. "It's almost time for dinner. Alvar serves it at 8:00. If you'd like to use it, the bath is upstairs on the left. I'll see you in a bit." I walked away, glancing back once to see him staring after me, the angry expression gone from his face.

* * *

Dinner was a quiet affair. I had to admit that I was surprised that Severus joined me, but it seemed that he responded best to the direct approach. I would have to remember that in the future.

After half an hour of silence, I decided it was time to speak. "When should we start the Occlumency lessons?" The prospect of learning more about this craft from an expert excited me. I had studied it on my own, of course, but without someone to practice with, I couldn't bring the theory to life.

Dark eyes glittered at me from his sallow face. "I think tomorrow afternoon will do. I have business to attend to in the morning." That being said, he retreated back to silence, and I followed suit.

At least now I had direction. Harry would be here soon and in studying Occlumency, I would be preparing myself for what might lie in wait for me. I occupied the rest of dinner worrying about my parents.

Dinner ended without further conversation. Severus was lost in his own thoughts, and, having concerns of my own, I didn't try to pry into his. I did glance at him several times, noting that nothing was left of his snarky façade. In its wake was a tired face and troubled eyes. When he rose, it was with some difficulty. Remembering that only this morning he had been subjected to the Cruciatus at the hands of Voldemort, I felt a wash of pity.

I walked with him to the door, accidentally brushing against him in my haste to open it. A jolt of heat flashed through me, and I took a step back, gasping. It was apparent that he had also felt it, but his response was to step forward and take my hands.

I was so shocked that I didn't pull away, and the warmth flowed between us. I closed my eyes and behind my lids I saw an orange haze. I felt as a bird must when it stretches its wings and flies under the summer sun. It felt spiritual…healing.

I don't know how long I stood there, my hands grasped in his, but somehow, it didn't matter. Opening my eyes, I was confronted with a different man than the one that had left my table. He looked stronger and heartier than before. Wondering at this strange magic, I hastily pulled my hand away, a blush creeping up my face.

The shock was complete when apparently grateful, Severus said, "Thank you."

Stunned, I stared after him before I took myself to bed. It was quite some time before I fell asleep and then my dreams were plagued by a flashing green light and faces filled with horror.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Thanks to all of you for the wonderful reviews. I apologize for the delay, but hopefully you will enjoy it.**

**Thanks to Jennifer and Judy for the beta work. You guys are the best!**

**Disclaimer:**

**Not mine.**


	13. Chapter 12: Severus

**Chapter 12: Severus**

_The Dark Lord was glaring at me, his red eyes gleaming with hate. Lucius Malfoy stood beside him, with only a smirk to betray how much he was enjoying this._

_"Severus, you do disappoint me. To think, I, Lord Voldemort, trusted you. I prized you above any other. And this is how you repay me?" A thin, translucent arm protruded from the sleeve of a tattered robe and pointed a bony finger._

_I strained to see what Voldemort was pointing to, but the harder I focused, the less I could see. My heart was pounding; a thin sheen of sweat covered my face. I didn't know why, but I knew that beyond my sight there was something more precious to me than life itself._

_Lucius spoke, voice filled with loathing. "Really, Severus. Rather primitive, don't you think? Of course, you never were one for, what did you call it? Oh yes. Foolish wand waving." Withdrawing his wand, he pointed it at Severus._

"_No, Lucius. He is mine!" Voldemort had risen and was circling me like an animal. "But, perhaps, he'd rather watch our fun first?" With a wave of his hand, Voldemort encircled me with invisible ropes. _

_I was unable to blink, unable to speak, barely able to breathe. I could only stare in horror as the object I was so desperately seeking earlier came into focus. One ruddy brown curl was all I saw before everything went black._

I awoke with the sound of maniacal laughter filling my head. I steadied my breathing, telling myself that nightmares were nothing new. In fact, I don't remember the last time I had a sleep that wasn't filled with some type of mind torture. The object of my nightmare, however, was new.

I'm sure that Miss…Hermione is a factor here. I would be a fool not to realize that the tentative new connection we had discovered had my mind in a frenzy. Whether I liked it or not, there was old magic at work here.

Standing and stretching, I realized that I felt better than I usually did after a run-in with the Dark Lord. That, I could also attribute to the bushy-haired slip of a girl who had apparently invaded my thoughts.

Well, it was a new morning, and there were things to do. With a pop, I Apparated to my house at Spinners End.

I was never able to come here without thinking about the grand manor that had been in my family as a youth. With that came memories of my sweet mother. It had been soothing to watch the place burn to the ground after my father died, for it held nothing but memories of abuse and misery. Memories of my mother's death. Burning it had been a cleansing of sorts. Shaking my head, I entered through the rickety door.

The house was nothing to look at, being small and run-down, but I knew something that others did not. Walking to the bookshelf that housed a few of my least precious books, I ran my hand along until I came to a well worn volume. With a light touch, the shelf opened up to a passage. Moving, quietly, checking for intruders and signs of magic, I passed into my laboratory.

Inhaling deeply, I felt a wave of welcome wash over me. The soft, violet-like scent of orris root, the light, minty waft of fluxweed, the pungent odor of sagebrush leaves. Here, I belonged. If only I felt like that elsewhere….

Walking over to my well-stocked shelves, I pocketed a jar of horse tail. If Hermione intended to experiment with counteractive potions she might as well have the right ingredients at her disposal. One doesn't often get to work with someone so intelligent, and I had to admit, she piqued my curiosity.

Sighing heavily, I leaned against my work bench, head in my hands. Putting off the inevitable never suited me, but now, I would give my wand arm to be able to forget all that Albus had discussed with me.

The logical part of me knew that he was right. In order for Potter to stand a chance, he had to be able to stand on his own, without Albus there protecting him. Not only that, my place as a spy was more precarious than ever, and I was needed far more in the Dark Lord's inner circle than an old wizard who may or may not have the strength to fight when the time came. Albus had explained that he could feel the magic draining from him daily. For a wizard, there could be nothing worse; not even death. If for some reason, he was to fall into the wrong hands….

But, my heart felt differently. Albus was the closest thing to a father that I had ever had. Yes, he used me to every advantage, but I did not hold that against him much. In dark times, one does what one must. Still, this might be the one thing he asked of me that I couldn't do. At least there was time to think, and that was one of my strengths.

I spent the morning with busywork. I made notes of items that needed refilling, straightened jars, selected some books that might be helpful, and started brewing a new round of Wolfsbane for Lupin.

Too soon, it was nearing afternoon. I had neglected to eat, and my stomach reminded me of that fact. Ignoring it, I took one last look at my lab, to ensure everything was in order. Gods grant me patience this afternoon.

With a nauseous lurch, I found myself once again outside of the manor. Magic crackled in the air, and I was glad to see the chit had at least resurrected the wards on the place. It appeared that she altered them to recognize me; because no sooner had I appeared, than I felt them ebb. Clever, that one. But, wasn't that what she had tried to prove all those years? Again that niggling memory of another seeking such approval tried to push its way in. I shoved it back out again.

Not bothering to knock, I entered the house, assuming that Hermione would be in the lab. I was not prepared however, for the sight that met my eyes.

In a position that one could only describe as fetal, the very same girl was sound asleep on the sofa, clutching a roll of parchment. Several books were lying on the floor next to her. Alvar, the house elf, was standing there, making a motion for me to remain silent. Of all the insufferable cheek! And the ugly thing had the nerve to grimace at me and beckon me to follow him.

Once out of earshot, he said, "Miss needs rest, Mister Snape sir. She's all in, working and worrying all the time. Mister Snape need not muck about and disturb her!"

"We all need rest, you miserable little bugger. That doesn't mean that we get it. Move aside." Dismissing him, I did not get far. I found myself flat on my arse, with a scowling house elf looking down at me. Powerful little shites; house-elves. It would probably do me well to remember that in the future.

"No sir. Miss needs her rest, yes she does. Alvar will bring you tea…downstairs." With a swift nod, as if to confirm his words, he crossed his arms.

Extremely angry at the liberties the elf was taking, I rose and towered over him. "If you attempt to do anything like that again…" My threat was interrupted by a throat clearing.

"You'll what, Severus? You're forgetting that you are in the intruder here. Alvar is just doing his duty. Thank you Alvar, we'll both have tea now." Hermione's hair was disheveled and her cheeks rosy from her nap. Her eyes, however, were snapping at me, daring me to comment. Feeling defeated, which was something new for me, I remained silent. Some things are just not worth it. I did not feel like sparring with an angry female today.

A look of surprise crossed her face, but she said nothing, simply beckoning me to follow her. I noted that the fire danced higher when we passed, but did not comment on it. Primitive magic, indeed.

Primitive. Lucius. With a start, I looked at the ruddy brown curls in front of me and felt an overwhelming sense of foreboding. We would all need a good measure of luck to make it through this alive.

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**A/N: Yes, it's been a long time since I've updated, I know. No excuses here. The muse just left, as did the time. But, here you go. In part, this is filler, but it does serve us with a couple of enlightenments.**

**Thanks to Judy for the beta!**

**Disclaimer: Please. I'm lucky to come up with an original thought myself, much less these characters. LOL**


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